(Warning: motivating but real!!!)
At first, it seemed like a fairy tale. Romantic dates, long phone conversations, a beautiful ring, a gorgeous wedding, and a home you loved. He completely changed your life: new friends, new activities, new restaurants, even a new zip code. You did almost everything he suggested because it made you happy to make him happy. But now, despite your best efforts, your relationship is in trouble. You have no idea how you got so far off track and no clue how to figure out what’s best for you. You aren’t even sure who you are anymore.
Here are a few ways to find you again!!!
#1. If you’re still in the relationship, talk to your partner. If you believe that your own needs and preferences consistently take a backseat to your partner’s, your first step should be to share your concerns with him. Remember, nothing will change if you don’t voice your feelings, which your partner might not be aware of. His response will tell you a lot about the current health (and perhaps the future) of your relationship.
You may be worried that stating your position will offend your partner or drive him away. But that’s a risk you have to take for the sake of your own mental and emotional well-being. The best case scenario is, of course, that your partner makes a conscious effort to meet you halfway and invest more in your interests and priorities. If that’s not what happens, though, you may need to reconsider the relationship.
#2. Stop walking on egg shells your partner. If you’re in a relationship, the idea of ending it can be incredibly painful. So consciously or unconsciously, you may find yourself fixating on your partner’s positive qualities and downplaying his hurtful or unhealthy behaviors. Even after the relationship has ended, you might look back with nostalgia.
But it’s important to be honest about that person’s flaws. Otherwise, you run the risk of believing that your partner is perfect and blaming all of the relationship’s problems on yourself, which can be fatal to your self-esteem.
#3. Pay attention to how you’re feeling. In our hectic, mile-a-minute, on-the-go world, many of us are so busy and preoccupied that we don’t take the time to really check in with ourselves and how we’re feeling. Too often, it takes a major event (a health scare, an anxiety attack, or “yes!”the dissolution of a relationship) to wake us up to the fact that our lives are unhealthy and off track.
That’s why it’s so important to keep your finger on the pulse of your emotions and intuition. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, get into the habit of asking yourself, How does this mesh with my values? Am I honoring myself and my goals? Am I being authentic, or am I calibrating my words and actions to please someone else? When you’re more in tune with yourself, you’ll be in a position to make small adjustments when you first notice that you’re feeling off, making it much less likely that you’ll wake up one day wondering, How did I get to this place, and what happened to my life?
#4. Making the cut. Ignoring a bad situation or a less-than-ideal reality won’t make it go away. If you’ve lost yourself in love, sooner or later you’ll have to make hard decisions like:
Do I move out? Is this relationship officially over? Should I cut off contact? If hanging on isn’t healthy, be honest with yourself. Remember, your long-term well-being may require (and is worth!) short-term pain.
#5. Stay close to (or reconnect with) your family and friends. When you lose yourself in love, it’s common to drift away from family and friends. Maybe you’ve been focused primarily on your partner and haven’t invested much in other people, or perhaps you’ve purposefully put distance between yourself and loved ones who questioned the wisdom of your relationship. Whatever the reason, it’s time to reconnect and repair any damage that’s been done.
The people who love you and who have known you for years will keep you grounded and remind you of who you are!!!
#6. Be full of yourself–It’s all about you. Start doing activities solo, too! Go grocery shopping, see a movie, take a walk in the park, or go to a worship service with only yourself. If you want to reclaim your life after losing yourself in love, you must learn to be confident and comfortable on your own.
OK… enough of the uplifting….food for the soul. Lets get down to the Nitty- Gritty!!!!
#7. The number (seven) in biblical terms means: completeness and perfection (both physical and spiritual). It derives much of its meaning from being tied directly to God’s creation of all things.
Now its time to …DATE LIKE YOU HAVE LOST YOUR MIND….. Get a life (sister)!!!Become a player of the game and not subject to the game… Date the ugly men, cute men, men with one leg, 4 eyes, wealthy men, broke men, corny men..
Bring them on…… Remember this is a selfish act, which is all about you, not anyone else. However, you must be honest with anyone you meet, that you are just going out to have fun. NO feelings, No connection and No remorse.
The point of serial dating is not about finding a mate, but will do 3 things:
a) Kick lonely’s butt….
b) It will make you get beautified….
c) Make time fly by…..
You deserve this; and never fill guilty about-making it all about you.. Besides, remember God will bring you the best, so, in the meantime while your dating (HAVE FUN). If someone is the “one” he will surely reveal himself..
These tools and experiences will force you to stand on your own two feet, give you the tools to live instead of just exist, and to focus on and invest in yourself.
You are already equipped with everything you need, and (sister’s) if you need me, I am always here, so just do it!!!!